Life Has Changed. Big Time.
I guess the best place to start is where we left off. I was in a great relationship, posting outfit ideas, and blogging about how to dress my athletic endo-mesomorph body. I had my year completely planned out. Everything I wanted to do with this blog, my Youtube channel, and my acting career.
I was ready. Then something even more exciting happened – I got engaged! My husband and I immediately began planning our elopement. We had decided that if we were not completely debt free by the time we wanted to marry, we wouldn’t dive deeper into debt by having an elaborate wedding. We would rather spend most of our budget on a memorable honeymoon and plan to have a large wedding later.
Christmas Eve came around and I’d been battling a strangely persistent cold. It was strange because I rarely get sick, and this “cold” had lasted about two months. Unheard of for me! It’s rare that I have sniffles for more than a few days if I am coming down with something. Suddenly, on Christmas Eve, I began to feel nauseous. So, to rule the possibility of pregnancy out, I asked my then boyfriend to purchase a pregnancy test. I take the test and BOOM – I find out we’re pregnant.
I won’t lie, I felt a mixture of emotions. Relief, anxiety, excitement, and fear of the unknown. But regardless of how I felt, I knew that my life would change forever. So I went on the mental, physical, and emotional journey to transform from the woman I was then, to the mother I am now.
I must admit, through the emotional rollercoaster, I am glad we took the time to chronical my pregnancy journey. Now I have videos to look back on and remember what it was like.
In the midst of growing a whole human, my husband and I went to Naples, Italy for our honeymoon! Italy has been our dream destination since we were kids. It’s the one location my husband and I both agreed was a must-go…so we went.
We filmed our whole trip in a series of vlogs – some of which were in 360, so you can share in our experience as well. My goodness, the architecture there is like no other I’ve seen. The buildings were so old and beautiful, but on the inside of the residental buildings, many were renovated and very modern like our Air bnb.
Aside from the nausea and vomiting I endured during my stay, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I encourage you to visit my vlog channel Haus of Sirls and watch all of the honeymoon videos to see more architecture. Castles anyone?
When we returned to Los Angeles, we promptly began discussing the idea of moving into a bigger place. At the time, we lived in small loft that we loved, but we needed an extra bedroom for our new addition to the family.
After a few months of looking, we settled on a two bedroom apartment in a very quiet family friendly neighborhood. We still miss our old luxury amenities, but this time we have a second bedroom, a full stove, larger kitchen, and lots of closet space. I’d say the trade off was well worth it.
Oh, and I forgot to mention. Our baby shower date happened to be scheduled the same weekend we were moving. It was at the end of our lease, so we had no choice. If only we knew we’d be moving for sure when we made the date. C’est la vie.
Finally, the big day had arrived…two weeks early.
I’d developed an extreme itch all over my body, so I went to labor and delivery for a checkup. I feared it was cholestasis, a condition that slows or stops bile movement from the liver. It is very dangerous for babies and can cause stillborn.
While nurses monitored both baby and my heartbeats, his dipped too low twice, so they admitted me into the hospital for induction.
Giving birth was like going onstage for the biggest performance of my life without a dress rehearsal. I was anxious and excited for the unknowingly long journey ahead. 2 1/2 days after induction, with 3 ceaseless hours of pushing, baby Sirls still wouldn’t come. It all came down to an unplanned C-section.
To this day it breaks my heart that I couldn’t have my desired vaginal delivery, but I’m so happy to have birthed such a beautiful and healthy baby boy. His name is DaVinci and he is absolutely perfect.
None of it was what I planned, but I believe in my heart that becoming a wife and a mother was what I needed. It continues to teach me patience and love. It surprises me with the imperfect parts of myself, as well as the beautiful parts. It has matured me in a lot of ways, and restored my faith in my ability to keep striving toward my purpose, in spite of major life shifts.
It would be dishonest to say that having a child doesn’t challenge the dreams I have for myself. Simultaneously raising a new life, it won’t (and hasn’t) been easy. However, I’ve gained something far greater than what I had before; purpose for someone outside of myself. My son drives me to be better every day with something as simple as his gaze. I am changed forever, and guess what? I love being a mom.